Pick your battles or choose your engagements

As the parent of a toddler, I find I am picking battles all day, every day.  Such as this one…

IMG_3956

Sure, you can wear a crown to school.  Maybe it will promote more narcissism like everyone is talking about.  Everyone loves a narcissistic threenager.  Oh yeah, ALL toddlers are narcissistic, but I digress.

We pick battles every single day: in traffic, at school or work, and in our own homes.  I recently went to an education conference in which the speaker was discussing ways to manage anxious students.  One of the of her suggestions was to

choose your engagements rather than pick you battles.  

How would our interactions be different if we played offensively rather than defensively? Wouldn’t it be better to hide the crown lay down some ground rules about what kind of head-wear is allowed at school rather than arguing with an irrational toddler who wants to wear a crown to school. I totally see how this could be effective in parenting and teaching but how else can we use this idea in our everyday life?  Because my husband works long hours to put me through school, I have to ask myself, do I want to spend my time arguing over little things or engaging in real, quality time?  Unfortunately, many times I find myself choosing arguing because I am a jerk opinionated.

Yesterday I leisurely got up at 5:20, spent some time reading and drinking coffee before I met a friend at church to work-out.  The whole day went smooth for the most part, worked out, got AK to school on time, worked on some homework, got taxes sent off; compared to this morning, when I woke up at 7:55 rushing to get AK to school and get to work by 9:00.  Those 7:55 mornings usually end in battles between me and AK, the dogs, traffic, chickens, you name it, I have fought it on a morning I woke up late. What have you found to be different in your life when you choose your engagements rather than pick your battles?

♥ Elizabeth

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